Date - Monday, September 21, 2009
okk!!! let me start by wishing u the most AMAZONning(amazing..hehe)bday...though i knw u wud be working n going crazy all at da same time.Guess now wen u hav to wrk on a bday or wen we just get to wish each othr n not celebrate the ocasion togethr,i realise that "not growing up"would hav been such a gr8 option,had we had it!!!.....ya but then had u not grown up,u wud be missing out on having da most wonderful wife n me on the sweetest bhabhi in the world,but othr than that i soooooo hate the fact that my childhood ended....
This is actually weird....writing a blog about it and still not being able to tell u the things ive wanted to,but i guess we hardly hav the time to talk and perhaps a little discretion on how u feel runs in the family after all..heheh :p....but then as ive grown up,ive sooo come to believe in the fact that its so necessary to tell people how u feel as is to actually have those feelings...so dat was wen i decided to write this,n its been a while actually,but i wanted to wait 4 ur bday.
22yrs of my existence is filled wid soo many of ur memories......i dont even knw where to begin,and its not because ur my brother(nw that was totally mummy papa's fault..:p)...bcause had u been just like ne othr brother is ,i dont think i wud hav hung on to all these moments of our lives....
UR SPECIAL....actually really really special....in every way, and u knw why,its not because of what u hav achieved and not because of the fact that u did us all so proud....its because of what u grew up to be!!!!.....its because of the pride n love that i see in papa's eyes wen he sees u standing by his side,its ur reaauring presence n that u love n value him sooo much that fills his life wid sooo much of happinesss....as for mamma,i dun even hav to say,she simply adores her baby boy...as if there were no tomorrow.....and her boy is just too perfect and amazing a son...
wid bhabi ur love and ur compatibiliy....clearly defines wat being soulmates is all about n this is not going to be complete if i dont thank u for making her a part of our family,our family seems so perfect with her in it....actually frm the first day i met her,ive completely adored her.... n both of u cudnt hav made a better choice in the most important decision of ur life....
and now coming to me.....
i dont think i can categorize ur role in my life.....
remember wen i was a spoilt pathetic teenager....n i used to actually create so much nuisance in the house.......u once told me that u would do nethng it required to make me a better person than the one i was behaving like at the moment,even if that meant hitting me so be it.....i dont knw but i actually felt sooo nice n relieved wen u said that(though i did shout at u at that moment,okkk i knw i was seriously weird ),it was like u were making sure i grew up to be someone even i wud be glad to be ,as if u were telling me that u were there to make sure i was fine....and u were there....but i missed u soo much wen u were not....wen u were at college,wen i didnt knw who to talk to,or who to turn to wen i needed the much deserved assurance that no mattter wat happens now.......ill be just fine,that the sunshine wud creep thru my curtains again....n dispel the unsureness that hung over my gloomy world....THAT was wen u were an elder brother to me......
i saw u grow up....and then u just grew up too fast,at least i thought soo...,and then u went away to college....i soo hated u for leaving me then,hehheh....i actaully felt betrayed,that after i lied soo much abt ur games n about u secretly eating gupchup,n all the maggi dat i sacrificed 4 u ,not to mention all those times that i gaurded the door for u wen u were watchng T.V......i just thought it was sooo not fair that we no longer stayed togethr just because u grew up n ahad better things to do......
but then little did i knw that u would grow up to be such a wonderful human being in every sense of the word....i wanted to be just like u,the way u talked...so sure of what u wanted,the way u were so responsible....taking care of everyone,the way u knew wat was right and what was not.....i cud only hope that as ur sibling i try to make our family as happy and as proud of me as u did....as a kid i sooo wanted to live up to wat u expected of me.....
u remember the year i took a drop,n u used to visit me.....u have no idea how much that meant to me.....i used to wait 4 days on end to see u.....because no matter how miserable my situation was u always made me believe in myself.....i needed u to tell me dat i wud come out of this,that i wud not be a failure,that i wud not shatter the dreams of our parents ,n that i wud if only just try to grow up to be like u.....you used to talk to me for hours...u listened to all i had to say,all my worries,n u never complained that i buggd u sooo much,never made me feel alone or even stupid,and the best part was....u had all the answers,all the solutions.... above all...u had faith in me,u had trust in my efforts,n that i was trying hard not to disapoint u....it meant soooo much...it was the darkest priod of my life n u were there...i cant even begin to imagine how i wud hav done it widout u...i wud have been so lost... so miserable....n so very unhappy widout u...
n then u became sooo much more than my elder brother,u were my insipiration,u were a fighter,a survivor , a person wid soo much meattle in his very existence,u gave me the strenght to fight,to show the world that i mattered, to bring out the best in me.......but u were also patient...n understanding,n full of hope,n full of love.....u were my best friend who knew my follies,who stood by be through thick n thin,who held me wen i cried, suppported me wen i fell,n was there....just standing there wenever i needed u.......i could go on n on...i hve sooo much to say,so many of my childhood memories to relive....i cant just fit them in here....
but 4 now i just want u to knw that ur the best brother in the whole wide world.....and i mean it with all my heart,ur my best friend,my insipiration,n i look up to u for everything in life.....but above all i love u like no other little sister would adore her brother......there'll be times wen we fight(hehehe).n times wen ill hope to be larger than u are(so that i could punch u ,:p),but other than that i promise to love u,trouble u,annoy u,drive u mad,look up to u,respect u,n adore u 4 the rest of my life.....
happy birthday....bahaiya!!!!! :-)........